As I sat on the pier that stretches into the icy cold river, I found comfort from the sound of the rushing rapids. A trio of birds were singing a familiar song, but I couldn't make it out. Though it was pointless to try, I attempted to get closer to the wondrous singing. Unfortunately, as I was expecting, they flew away in a hurry. I returned to the pier and stuck my bare feet in the water, only to realize it wasn't very deep at this point in the river, and I just stuck my feet into two inches of wet mud. I went further down the river where it was deeper and washed my dirty feet. Suddenly, I began to feel very hot, and I remembered the lake wasn't much further. But before I had a chance to go swimming, my mother called me in for lunch, we were having my favorite, pizza. Therefore, I went inside with a hungry look on my face.
I think the part about the birds is pretty cool.
ReplyDeleteNice initial blog entry. I liked the use of senses that you incorporated, and I thought it was pretty humorous the way it would have something beautiful to start, like the cool water, but then everything went to a bad place pretty fast, like the mud, or the hot sun. Next time try to keep it all present tense. Controlling tense is important. Also, there are some errors here. Now, one of the good things about blogging is that you can go back and make changes when needed. Please go back in edit mode and fix the errors.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Monica I like the way you described the birds.
ReplyDeleteI also agree with Mr. Johnson and Monica. The description of the birds was great.
ReplyDeleteNice I love the description.
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